Thursday, November 19, 2009

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Using NLP and Hypnosis in Seduction: Tag Questions.

To seduce or not to seduce, that is the question, isn't it? No! Clearly seduction is something we all want to be good at. We may want to seduce our partners more effectively or influence a completely stranger. Either way by using tag questions taken from the NLP Milton Model, coupled with embedded commands you can become a far more effective communicator.

Examples:
You should probably head home now, shouldn't you? (No body does their 'shoulds'. for example how many times have you heard this 'I shouldn't really have another drink'? Yeah right!)
I've found that becoming interested (point to self) in new hobbies can be a great way to pass the time, haven't you?
It's easy to know who's right for you (point to self), isn't it?
Going on roller coasters can really get you excited, can't they?
I have a tendency to take risks I really shouldn't, don't you?
you'll know when you've met the right person for you (point to self), won't you?

This next one is extra sneaky and you won't find it in any NLP seduction book either.
Tell a story about a guy and a girl and how this girl strolled up to him and said 'you're going to feel really horny tonight, aren't you? Now immediately after saying 'aren't you' look at your listener and say a rather passive 'you know'. Similar to how you would say 'He's a real pain, you know'. So it's not a question but they'll nod any way. What they have effectively nodded to is this 'feel really horny tonight...you know' (lovely embedded command with cherry of a tag question on top).

I hope you enjoy and leave a few suggestions.
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Using NLP and Hypnosis for Building Rapport: Tag Questions

Tag questions can be used very successfully as a way of gaining deeper levels of rapport with people around you.  The more nods or yeses you get from a person the more they will be trusting of you and open to your ideas. You should take notice that embedded commands and tag questions work beautifully together. With all the examples below you can see at least one embedded command. If done properly the person receives the command unconsciously and then immediately agrees to the command without knowing. Oh the beauty of NLP and Hypnosis in influence!

Remember, however, this is a collaborative effort and any additional examples you can offer would be greatly appreciated. Leave a comment with any suggestions if you're up to the challenge.

Examples.
You can watch a film and be completely drawn in by the main person (subtly point to self), can't you?
I love how easy it is to connect with someone, don't you?
You're really good at building rapport with someone you hardly know, aren't you?
You know how it feels when you and the other person (point to self) just click, don't you?
I love the feeling of being relaxed but highly focused on something important (point to self), don't you?
It's strange, I never really noticed how easy it is to build rapport with a complete stranger, haven't you?

As ever, leave any suggestions you'd like me to include in the comments box below.

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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Using NLP and Hypnosis for Job Interviews and Work: Tag Questions

Tag questions can easily be placed at the end of statements in a work context to aid influence. However, you must take care not come across as too pushy. Work is generally set in a formal context so it isn't wise to try and push answers on to your listener.

As always it would be appreciated if you could leave any examples of tag questions in the comments box below so I can bulk up this list.


Job Interview.
Less experienced candidates could have unrealistic expectations, couldn’t they?

The experience I have gained from my previous roles could really add to your company, couldn’t it?

It’s been a real struggle finding the right candidate (point to self), hasn’t it? (This moves the issue to the past and presupposes that they have found what they were looking for).

It’s easy to see how that could benefit your company, isn’t it?

I think we could very successfully work together, couldn’t we?


Asking For a Raise.

It’s important to reward staff for their good work, isn’t it?

You Appreciate the work I’ve done, don’t you?

You see how hard I’ve worked, don’t you?

We’re friends, aren’t we?

John had a raise last week, didn’t he?

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Tuesday, November 17, 2009

How to Use Tag Questions in Hypnosis and NLP

Tag questions, regardless of their simplicity and frequency of use, are incredibly useful tools of persuasion because they help you to ensure that your conversation partner is responsive to your ideas. A tag question is nothing more than a negative question tagged on to the end of a statement. Some examples are - Isn’t it? Can’t you? Haven’t you.

You may look at these and think ‘well I say that stuff all the time but I’m not some all mighty persuasion beast’ (well maybe without the ‘beast’). This may be true but this article is going to show you how to use them at the most appropriate times. To understand the power of tag questions in creating a more responsive listener just slip one at the end of a sentence and watch how the listener will instantly nod or shake their head (which ever is appropriate). They are literally agreeing with your statement without actually know what they're agreeing to most of the time, aren’t they?

World class communicators like Richard Bandler have spoken constantly of this need to get people into a ‘yes’ set – an open frame of mind. A very efficient way of doing this is to present the listener with three statements, observations or questions that must be true. Once the client has observed the factual nature of these statements they will begin to feel greater trust towards you and they will have entered into the habit of agreeing with you. Tag questions, in conjunction with other techniques, are wonderful ways of eliciting this state.

As an example of this, a therapist could say 'you came to see me because you had a problem with X (1st true observation), you had this problem for X months (2nd true observation) and now that we have spoken a little you feel confident we can work together to solve this problem, don’t you? (3rd observation).

Useful Tip: To help move a problem into the past the therapist could have said ‘you had this problem for X months, didn’t you?’ This is much more effective than saying ‘you’ve had this problem for X months, haven’t you?’ or even worse ‘you’re having this problem, aren’t you?’.

You can see the importance of using tag questions now, can't you?

The only way to effectively deliver a tag question is with a lowering command tone rather than a rising question tone (see here for command tones). Milton H. Erickson, the father of indirect hypnosis and comfortably the greatest hypnotherapist of all time used tag questions with a command tone constantly as a way of ensuring that his patients were compliant with his commands. He would say things like ‘and you can…go into trance…can’t you?’ (Notice the use of embedded commands in bold in conjunction with the tag questions. It’s a very effective combination of language patterns). If you watch any of his videos you’ll see the subject nodding away without any form of resistance.

Erickson also used tag questions as support for the compliance of post hypnotic suggestions. For example, it could be more powerful to say 'and you will feel more relaxed when dealing with stress, wont you?' than 'and you will feel more relaxed when dealing with stress'.


So as you read this post you probably considered the powerful ways in which tag questions help to persuade, didn't you? And now you're considering how you can add these tools to you linguistic armoury, aren't you? and after you've master these bad boys you'll be a far more adept communicator, wont you?

Well if you do take the wise step and...begin using tag questions...more effectively then you can check back here where there'll be everyday examples for you to play with.

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Examples of Embedded Commands in Hypnosis.

Below are a list of useful embedded commands used frequently by hypnotists who actually know a thing or two about hypnosis. Feel free to leave a comment if you have any examples I can add to this list.

And its easy to…Go deeper into trance

As you begin to…Relax further

In this deep state you can…Find yourself

If you listen to… You’re unconscious now…(Notice the ambiguity –you are unconscious now – your unconscious)

Deep with you’re mind will…Find the solution

When you…Look within

Would you like to…Go into trance…sitting or lying?

It’s easy to…Sink gently

And when you…Feel that relaxation grow

As people…Pay attention to me…they find that

What happens when you…Focus? (command tone)

After you…Listen carefully

In this depth of trance you can comfortably…Make the changes

And when people…Really learn
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Using NLP and Hypnosis in Seduction (For Men and Women): Embedded Commands

Relationships can give you some of the most exquisite experiences life has to offer. It's such a shame that many people lack the confidence and communicative skills to get over that intial boundry that prevents them being with someone they like. With hypnotic language patterns like embedded commands you can communicate at a much deeper level than the majority of people out there. Use them wisely. Use them ethically. And above all, make the other person feel great because that's what will have them coming back for more.

I was confident that I could…Feel interested (point to self)…in this film
I don’t know if…you like me…are interested in (said normally this would be ‘I don’t know if you, like me, are interested in’)
It’s easy to…Feel attracted…To the highlife
And then she turned round and said to him…sleep with me now…and although he was shocked he couldn’t help but…be drawn in…by her.
And he said to her ‘what’s it like when you…feel horny?
As I’ve matured I’ve found it easy to…Be open to new ideas
Not everyone has it in them to…Take risks.
When you watched the movie could you…Sense the excitement…before it happened?
Looking at all those cars it was really easy to…Notice attractive qualities (point to self)
And then trough the writing you could tell that the main character began to…Sense the arousal
I was trying to get the cat to…Play with me.
When I was a kid I used to…Feel naughty all the time.
I read somewhere that you should visualise your goals. For example you should…Imagine your dream person (point to self).

As ever this is an evolving process so leave a comment with any suggestions you'd like me to add to the above list.

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Monday, November 16, 2009

Using NLP and Hypnosis to Build Rapport: Mirroring

Rapport is a remarkably simple process. Despite this many people still get it wrong and for those who get it right the rewards can be life changing.

The truth of the matter is we are drawn to people who are either similar to ourselves or who we consider to be very charismatic. We feel comfortable around what we know, so if someone is reflecting back to us behaviours we ordinarily use we will unconsciously feel far more comfortable around them. Have you ever noticed how close friends talk the same way with the same inflections and word usage? Even stranger, there is a phenomenon called 'synchronous menstruation' where menstruation cycles of women who live together long enough tend to change. I personally know a girl who lived with 4 other girls during university who experienced this.


The trick, with building rapport, is to copy, as subtly as possible, the rhythms of behaviours another person displays. As the person leans back in their seat you lean back a few seconds later, as they pick up their drink you pick up your drink, and then watch as they follow as you lean in. If you think you will get caught out then think again. You do it all the time with the people you are close to, the difference here is that you can now create a far more relaxing situation with those you don't know. Also, I've practiced this for years and have had nothing but success. I should add a little tip, one of the most effective ways to build rapport very quickly is to match their speech patterns. Speak at the rate they speak and they will feel more comfortable with you.


Before you start mirroring you must ask yourself 'what is it I want from this situation'? I look around me and see nothing but a sea of overweight, miserable, lazy adults. These are people who have rarely, if ever, asked themselves that question and as a consequence they float through life in no real direction bouncing off the very obstacles and frustrations they have created for themselves.


Why do you ask yourself what you want? Well, how can your unconscious/conscious mind know where to take you otherwise? Have you ever walked a familiar route only to realise that you can't remember making the journey because you've been day dreaming the entire way? Well my question to you is who took you there safely if you weren't paying attention? The answer, of course, is your unconscious. What else could it be? Why did it take you there safely? Because, in reality, your subconscious is there to help in anyway it is physically capable. It regulates your heart beat, temperature, and even shuts your eyes for you when a fly is about to bang into them before you're even aware of what is going on. So to go anywhere in life you must know the destination first.

How is this relevant to rapport? Well how will you know how to approach a social situation if you don't know what you want from it? If you want to build rapport with someone, a love interest for example, then it goes without saying that you should mirror them. If you want to be seen as a leader amongst the group, and trust me when I say there isn't one situation where there isn't a 'leader' of some sort, then naturally you will attempt to build rapport with the leader. But to be honest, all of this is much of a muchness. Building rapport is easy; very easy in fact. The overall goal of mirroring, however, isn't to just build rapport, but to lead.

My question to you is this (and disregard the slightly cheesy aspect of it), if Brad Pitt began speaking to you and a group of others what would happen? Would they recoil in disgust? Would they ignore him? Or would they be compelled to seek his approval and begin mirroring him? Of course there are other possibilities but I'm guessing the last would be the response from the majority of people. So good old Brad wouldn't have to move a finger and he'd have people clamouring to follow him. So if Brad can do it why not you?

With that let's shift, for a while, or forever, our frame of mind. You might be saying 'yeah but Brad Pitt's rich and good looking and I'm not, so how can I do that'?! It's surprisingly straight forward actually! The feelings we experience minute by minute are rarely a choice. Every single thing around us carries some form of emotional/psychological weight for the individual. No matter how bland the object it will still have some effect on us. The same exists for the behaviours we see displayed by other people. If there is someone we feel strongly about we will often tie in some of our feelings to their mannerisms and find ourselves feeling similarly to people who display the same mannerisms. So let's take Brad again. Look at his mannerisms. Don't you think his many millions of admirers won't have tied some of their emotions for him to some of his mannerisms? You'd better believe they will have.

So the trick is this to find out what it is you want from the situation. Once you know, discover the behaviour you need to display in order to achieve that goal and do it. Be flexible! If it doesn't work, try something else. Behavioural flexibility is key. Confidence in displaying those behaviours is also important.

Apart from what I've already mentioned I would like you to remember one more thing.

In any given context be aware of how people are responding to you. Don't be so unaware of how you come across that people see you as an ass. No one likes smugness or arrogance. Always be warm with people when you feel they deserve it and when your attention is else where they'll crave that warmth again. In the same vain, you must have the mindset that no one is important enough, except for your family, to demand all your attention all the time. No one! The more attention you give a person the more available you will appear and the less value you will give yourself. Diamonds are expensive because they are rare. The boyfriend who is always hanging around and sucking up to the girl is the one who is too available and underappreciated sadly.

This is true for any relationship you have outside of your family. Be the one whose time is rare and see how needed you are.

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Using NLP and Hypnosis in Sales: Embedded Commands

Following on from the previous posts on embedded commands here are some more NLP/hypnotic embedded commands. Using hypnosis can drastically improve your sales so play with the below language patterns, notice how they dramatically improve your sales and visit here again for more sales patterns. Some of these may only be used in copywriting, some on the phone, and some only in particular industries but as ever…be creative… and see what works.


SALES.
By (buy) now…you may have realised how important…(notice the ambiguity)
When you…Use this material…you will…notice its quality.
After you…read each word…you may enjoy
I’m not asking you to…Feel good about the product…before trying it.
After trying this product myself I was desperate for people to…follow my lead
you can choose to… act now
only if you want to…change your life…should you
It’s easy for you to…become really interested
after using the product…you will understand
Suppose you…use this process…and…love it.
People can… learn quickly
I’m not sure if you want to…improve your results
Most people…say yes…after looking at the spec
We could…do it now…if it suits you.
tell me….
Before we allow people to…sign the contract
Why should you…choose me (lower tone)
Some people find that they can…trust me…only after years of good customer service…but many find they can…do it sooner.


As always if you’d like to add to this list with a quick email then let me know.

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Using NLP and Hypnosis to Build Rapport: Embedded Commands

Have you ever wondered how you can easily create that deep feeling of rapport in others using hypnosis? If you haven't you're in for a treat. As you read my last post teaching how to embed commands you'll very quickly become aware of all the wonderful ways embedded commands can help improve almost all aspects of your life. Below are some examples of emdedded comands to help build rapport in others.

Practice, Practice, and Practice some more and then come and tell me how you got on.

BUILDING RAPPORT

Have you ever noticed how you can easily…feel comfortable…with certain people?
My old professor told me that people...become synchronised…with each other as they begin to…feel deep rapport.
I used to find it difficult to…trust people (point to self)…until I began to…feel familiarity… around them.

Multiple Embedded Commands
I was reading an interesting book that said when people…feel deep rapport…they tend to…feel very relaxed…and they…pay full attention…to what the other is saying.

When I met X a couple of years it was a very strange experience because until then I didn’t know how to…be truly fixated…in a conversation. We hit it off straight away and as we spoke I was able to…feel very at ease… I knew that it was ok to… be trusting…towards him and I was able to… free freely expressive…and although it was a new friendship a part of me was saying…'We’ll make great friends'.

Please email me if you have any other suggestions I could add to this post.

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Using NLP and Hypnosis for Job Interviews and Work: Embedded Commands

You can drastically increase your chances of getting that dream job or receiving the raise you deserve if you have some powerful Neuro-Linguistic Programming language patterns under your belt. As I mentioned in a previous post embedded commands are an incredibly powerful set of linguistic tools that can mean the difference between success and failure.

Practice the ones below then create your own and once you see how useful they can be come back here and learn some other hypnotic language patterns.


JOB INTERVIEW.

I wasn’t sure whether you would…offer me the job…based on X alone.
I knew that I could… become very interested…in this new technology
Of course, I would never expect you to…hire me…without knowing what I can offer ahead of other candidates
When I embarked on my last project my boss told me…I’m the right person…for the job.

Multiple embedded commands for job interview.

When I started working for X I knew I was going to…feel enthusiastic…about the work and that I could…See the possibilities (subtly point to self)…ahead of me. The experience I gained and the work I’d done forced my bosses to sit up and…take notice of my potential…and possibly…offer me a position…up the ladder.

ASKING FOR A RAISE.
I wanted to know if you could…give me a raise…for the work I’ve done.

Creating openness to the idea of a raise before talking about it.

I was speaking to my wife this morning about X and she told me to…be more open minded…about it.
So I basically told them to....acknowledge the work I’d done…because I felt I had brought real value to the project.
I was watching a program last night about how to…be more generous with people(subtly point to self while giving the command)…In order to…Feel good.

Multiple embedded commands creating openess to the idea of a raise.

Last week I was reading a book on how to... quickly and easily raise…our profit margins to hit this years targets. And as I was reading I came across how important it is to…be open to ideas…and that often staff can be a valuable source of information so it’s vital to…pay attention (subtly point to self)… to what they say and…reward their work


If you have any extra suggestions please get in touch.

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NLP and Hypnosis: How To Efficiently Embed Commands

Ah yes… The wonderfully subtle but all powerful embedded command. This is a favourite language pattern for many and you can find yourself time and time again smiling as you gently slide these in and out of your speech while getting closer to that evermore attainable goal. An embedded command is simply a command hidden away within normal everyday speech designed to guide a person into doing or thinking what you want them to.

How to deliver an embedded command.
Firstly - do not attempt to embed more than 5 words. There’s no scientific research whatsoever to back up the idea of shorter commands being more effective but using a bit of common sense will show you that in everyday life the commands we give to others are often short and to the point. And this leads us on to the essence of embedded commands and hypnosis in general; the utilisation of learned associations.

While you’re considering this you can know that the purpose of an embedded command is to say something in such a way that it triggers, only unconsciously, the same emotional anchor/association that is linked to everyday commands; obedience.

In English this is done by lowering the intonation of your voice towards the end of the command. For example, imagine saying ‘sit down’ with a question tone (raising your voice at the end of the sentence). Now say it as a command. How easily did you notice the difference? It’s quite significant isn’t it? The command tone is what you will subtly use during a conversation to embed commands.

As you may be aware the brain is an incredible pattern finding machine. Research has shown time and time again that the brain can establish elaborate patterns that allow you to notice the differences in your surroundings. Why did we evolve this strategy? Well if we consider the good old days when we weren’t top of the food chain and a hungry predator came knocking on our door we would have been served very well by the ability to notice even the smallest differences in our surroundings. The predator had a far less chance of getting his grub if the grub spotted him soon enough.

So how do we use this pattern finding mechanism to our advantage? Firstly you must speak with a fairly even rhythm. This doesn’t mean boring or monotone it just means at particular rate, you can still vary your tone. Fortunately we all speak at particular rhythms anyway so you don’t have to think too much about this. What you do have to consider is how you wish to change your rhythms in order to embed a command. And this is where the pattern finding machine kicks in. While you’re chatting away your conversation partner’s unconscious will be very aware of your regular rhythm of speech so when you alter that rhythm it will stand out (also use a very small pause before and after command for emphasis) and once you add a subtle command tone to the sentence the obedience anchor will be fired.

So for a couple of practical examples (commands in bold)…

“(1)I don’t know how easily you will…(2)go into trance now…(3)but I’m confident that…”

“(1)You may be wondering if you can…(2)Embed commands in your language…(3) and I would say….

Now at step (1) we had normal speaking speed. Step (2) we had a very brief pause and we slowed/sped up the speech with a slight command tone. And then in step (3) we started with another very brief pause and began speaking at normal speaking rhythm again.

Keep tuned for practical examples of embedded commands in many areas of everyday life.

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Welcome to Hypnotic Language Patterns.

Evening and Welcome to all! This blog is devoted entirely to the beautiful game of hypnotic language pattern mastery. I'm not here to present you with the history of hypnotic language patterns, Neuro-linguistic Programming, or Ericksonian hypnosis. Rather, within these melodic pages you will soon discover the delights of hypnotic patterns and the ways in which you can Use Them Effectively to improve the areas of your life that otherwise used to cause you problems. Therefore this blog will be aimed at the slightly more advanced hypnotisers among you who have some understanding of hypnosis and NLP.

And that's right...I will Use Hypnotic Language Patterns in my writing to help you Comfortably Ingrain These Patterns into your nervous system. I'm not expecting you to Master Each And Every Pattern straight away. Instead your unconscious... as with any successful learning experience that comes to mind...can, only as quickly as is necessary, begin to make those changes...

But take heed my friend--Although each pattern is a work of art it is only once you use the patterns together when they become an holistic master piece.

And as you read these pages you'll see explanations of each language pattern accompanied by a huge array of everyday examples...and if there aren't examples that suit you then email me and I'll come up with some. Each post will be constantly evolving so when you return to view a thread you could be pleasantly surprised by some new additions.

I look forward to hearing your comments and suggestions and if you were about to wonder, I'd happily have guest writers on this blog so if you've got something to offer then Get In Touch.

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