How to Use Tag Questions in Hypnosis and NLP

Tag questions, regardless of their simplicity and frequency of use, are incredibly useful tools of persuasion because they help you to ensure that your conversation partner is responsive to your ideas. A tag question is nothing more than a negative question tagged on to the end of a statement. Some examples are - Isn’t it? Can’t you? Haven’t you.

You may look at these and think ‘well I say that stuff all the time but I’m not some all mighty persuasion beast’ (well maybe without the ‘beast’). This may be true but this article is going to show you how to use them at the most appropriate times. To understand the power of tag questions in creating a more responsive listener just slip one at the end of a sentence and watch how the listener will instantly nod or shake their head (which ever is appropriate). They are literally agreeing with your statement without actually know what they're agreeing to most of the time, aren’t they?

World class communicators like Richard Bandler have spoken constantly of this need to get people into a ‘yes’ set – an open frame of mind. A very efficient way of doing this is to present the listener with three statements, observations or questions that must be true. Once the client has observed the factual nature of these statements they will begin to feel greater trust towards you and they will have entered into the habit of agreeing with you. Tag questions, in conjunction with other techniques, are wonderful ways of eliciting this state.

As an example of this, a therapist could say 'you came to see me because you had a problem with X (1st true observation), you had this problem for X months (2nd true observation) and now that we have spoken a little you feel confident we can work together to solve this problem, don’t you? (3rd observation).

Useful Tip: To help move a problem into the past the therapist could have said ‘you had this problem for X months, didn’t you?’ This is much more effective than saying ‘you’ve had this problem for X months, haven’t you?’ or even worse ‘you’re having this problem, aren’t you?’.

You can see the importance of using tag questions now, can't you?

The only way to effectively deliver a tag question is with a lowering command tone rather than a rising question tone (see here for command tones). Milton H. Erickson, the father of indirect hypnosis and comfortably the greatest hypnotherapist of all time used tag questions with a command tone constantly as a way of ensuring that his patients were compliant with his commands. He would say things like ‘and you can…go into trance…can’t you?’ (Notice the use of embedded commands in bold in conjunction with the tag questions. It’s a very effective combination of language patterns). If you watch any of his videos you’ll see the subject nodding away without any form of resistance.

Erickson also used tag questions as support for the compliance of post hypnotic suggestions. For example, it could be more powerful to say 'and you will feel more relaxed when dealing with stress, wont you?' than 'and you will feel more relaxed when dealing with stress'.


So as you read this post you probably considered the powerful ways in which tag questions help to persuade, didn't you? And now you're considering how you can add these tools to you linguistic armoury, aren't you? and after you've master these bad boys you'll be a far more adept communicator, wont you?

Well if you do take the wise step and...begin using tag questions...more effectively then you can check back here where there'll be everyday examples for you to play with.

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NLP and Hypnosis: How To Efficiently Embed Commands

Ah yes… The wonderfully subtle but all powerful embedded command. This is a favourite language pattern for many and you can find yourself time and time again smiling as you gently slide these in and out of your speech while getting closer to that evermore attainable goal. An embedded command is simply a command hidden away within normal everyday speech designed to guide a person into doing or thinking what you want them to.

How to deliver an embedded command.
Firstly - do not attempt to embed more than 5 words. There’s no scientific research whatsoever to back up the idea of shorter commands being more effective but using a bit of common sense will show you that in everyday life the commands we give to others are often short and to the point. And this leads us on to the essence of embedded commands and hypnosis in general; the utilisation of learned associations.

While you’re considering this you can know that the purpose of an embedded command is to say something in such a way that it triggers, only unconsciously, the same emotional anchor/association that is linked to everyday commands; obedience.

In English this is done by lowering the intonation of your voice towards the end of the command. For example, imagine saying ‘sit down’ with a question tone (raising your voice at the end of the sentence). Now say it as a command. How easily did you notice the difference? It’s quite significant isn’t it? The command tone is what you will subtly use during a conversation to embed commands.

As you may be aware the brain is an incredible pattern finding machine. Research has shown time and time again that the brain can establish elaborate patterns that allow you to notice the differences in your surroundings. Why did we evolve this strategy? Well if we consider the good old days when we weren’t top of the food chain and a hungry predator came knocking on our door we would have been served very well by the ability to notice even the smallest differences in our surroundings. The predator had a far less chance of getting his grub if the grub spotted him soon enough.

So how do we use this pattern finding mechanism to our advantage? Firstly you must speak with a fairly even rhythm. This doesn’t mean boring or monotone it just means at particular rate, you can still vary your tone. Fortunately we all speak at particular rhythms anyway so you don’t have to think too much about this. What you do have to consider is how you wish to change your rhythms in order to embed a command. And this is where the pattern finding machine kicks in. While you’re chatting away your conversation partner’s unconscious will be very aware of your regular rhythm of speech so when you alter that rhythm it will stand out (also use a very small pause before and after command for emphasis) and once you add a subtle command tone to the sentence the obedience anchor will be fired.

So for a couple of practical examples (commands in bold)…

“(1)I don’t know how easily you will…(2)go into trance now…(3)but I’m confident that…”

“(1)You may be wondering if you can…(2)Embed commands in your language…(3) and I would say….

Now at step (1) we had normal speaking speed. Step (2) we had a very brief pause and we slowed/sped up the speech with a slight command tone. And then in step (3) we started with another very brief pause and began speaking at normal speaking rhythm again.

Keep tuned for practical examples of embedded commands in many areas of everyday life.

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