Thursday, November 19, 2009

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Using NLP and Hypnosis in Seduction: Tag Questions.

To seduce or not to seduce, that is the question, isn't it? No! Clearly seduction is something we all want to be good at. We may want to seduce our partners more effectively or influence a completely stranger. Either way by using tag questions taken from the NLP Milton Model, coupled with embedded commands you can become a far more effective communicator.

You should probably head home now, shouldn't you? (No body does their 'shoulds'. for example how many times have you heard this 'I shouldn't really have another drink'? Yeah right!)
I've found that becoming interested (point to self) in new hobbies can be a great way to pass the time, haven't you?
It's easy to know who's right for you (point to self), isn't it?
Going on roller coasters can really get you excited, can't they?
I have a tendency to take risks I really shouldn't, don't you?
you'll know when you've met the right person for you (point to self), won't you?

This next one is extra sneaky and you won't find it in any NLP seduction book either.
Tell a story about a guy and a girl and how this girl strolled up to him and said 'you're going to feel really horny tonight, aren't you? Now immediately after saying 'aren't you' look at your listener and say a rather passive 'you know'. Similar to how you would say 'He's a real pain, you know'. So it's not a question but they'll nod any way. What they have effectively nodded to is this 'feel really horny know' (lovely embedded command with cherry of a tag question on top).

I hope you enjoy and leave a few suggestions.

Using NLP and Hypnosis for Building Rapport: Tag Questions

Tag questions can be used very successfully as a way of gaining deeper levels of rapport with people around you.  The more nods or yeses you get from a person the more they will be trusting of you and open to your ideas. You should take notice that embedded commands and tag questions work beautifully together. With all the examples below you can see at least one embedded command. If done properly the person receives the command unconsciously and then immediately agrees to the command without knowing. Oh the beauty of NLP and Hypnosis in influence!

Remember, however, this is a collaborative effort and any additional examples you can offer would be greatly appreciated. Leave a comment with any suggestions if you're up to the challenge.

You can watch a film and be completely drawn in by the main person (subtly point to self), can't you?
I love how easy it is to connect with someone, don't you?
You're really good at building rapport with someone you hardly know, aren't you?
You know how it feels when you and the other person (point to self) just click, don't you?
I love the feeling of being relaxed but highly focused on something important (point to self), don't you?
It's strange, I never really noticed how easy it is to build rapport with a complete stranger, haven't you?

As ever, leave any suggestions you'd like me to include in the comments box below.

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Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Using NLP and Hypnosis for Job Interviews and Work: Tag Questions

Tag questions can easily be placed at the end of statements in a work context to aid influence. However, you must take care not come across as too pushy. Work is generally set in a formal context so it isn't wise to try and push answers on to your listener.

As always it would be appreciated if you could leave any examples of tag questions in the comments box below so I can bulk up this list.

Job Interview.
Less experienced candidates could have unrealistic expectations, couldn’t they?

The experience I have gained from my previous roles could really add to your company, couldn’t it?

It’s been a real struggle finding the right candidate (point to self), hasn’t it? (This moves the issue to the past and presupposes that they have found what they were looking for).

It’s easy to see how that could benefit your company, isn’t it?

I think we could very successfully work together, couldn’t we?

Asking For a Raise.

It’s important to reward staff for their good work, isn’t it?

You Appreciate the work I’ve done, don’t you?

You see how hard I’ve worked, don’t you?

We’re friends, aren’t we?

John had a raise last week, didn’t he?

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Tuesday, November 17, 2009

How to Use Tag Questions in Hypnosis and NLP

Tag questions, regardless of their simplicity and frequency of use, are incredibly useful tools of persuasion because they help you to ensure that your conversation partner is responsive to your ideas. A tag question is nothing more than a negative question tagged on to the end of a statement. Some examples are - Isn’t it? Can’t you? Haven’t you.

You may look at these and think ‘well I say that stuff all the time but I’m not some all mighty persuasion beast’ (well maybe without the ‘beast’). This may be true but this article is going to show you how to use them at the most appropriate times. To understand the power of tag questions in creating a more responsive listener just slip one at the end of a sentence and watch how the listener will instantly nod or shake their head (which ever is appropriate). They are literally agreeing with your statement without actually know what they're agreeing to most of the time, aren’t they?

World class communicators like Richard Bandler have spoken constantly of this need to get people into a ‘yes’ set – an open frame of mind. A very efficient way of doing this is to present the listener with three statements, observations or questions that must be true. Once the client has observed the factual nature of these statements they will begin to feel greater trust towards you and they will have entered into the habit of agreeing with you. Tag questions, in conjunction with other techniques, are wonderful ways of eliciting this state.

As an example of this, a therapist could say 'you came to see me because you had a problem with X (1st true observation), you had this problem for X months (2nd true observation) and now that we have spoken a little you feel confident we can work together to solve this problem, don’t you? (3rd observation).

Useful Tip: To help move a problem into the past the therapist could have said ‘you had this problem for X months, didn’t you?’ This is much more effective than saying ‘you’ve had this problem for X months, haven’t you?’ or even worse ‘you’re having this problem, aren’t you?’.

You can see the importance of using tag questions now, can't you?

The only way to effectively deliver a tag question is with a lowering command tone rather than a rising question tone (see here for command tones). Milton H. Erickson, the father of indirect hypnosis and comfortably the greatest hypnotherapist of all time used tag questions with a command tone constantly as a way of ensuring that his patients were compliant with his commands. He would say things like ‘and you can…go into trance…can’t you?’ (Notice the use of embedded commands in bold in conjunction with the tag questions. It’s a very effective combination of language patterns). If you watch any of his videos you’ll see the subject nodding away without any form of resistance.

Erickson also used tag questions as support for the compliance of post hypnotic suggestions. For example, it could be more powerful to say 'and you will feel more relaxed when dealing with stress, wont you?' than 'and you will feel more relaxed when dealing with stress'.

So as you read this post you probably considered the powerful ways in which tag questions help to persuade, didn't you? And now you're considering how you can add these tools to you linguistic armoury, aren't you? and after you've master these bad boys you'll be a far more adept communicator, wont you?

Well if you do take the wise step and...begin using tag questions...more effectively then you can check back here where there'll be everyday examples for you to play with.

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